Saturday, August 11, 2012
Mom
On August 1 my mom had surgery to remove a part of her intestines. She did very well and came out of the surgery with no pain and wanting to walk. She would go up and down in how she felt but mostly down. She struggled to breath and her heart struggled to beat. In the end she lost the fight but is with Jesus and so she automatically wins the war. I will miss her so very much. I know that I will miss her more some days than others. I have a no idea how I will get through the next few weeks but I do know where I will get the strength. I will continue to take care of my mom with the same care that I did when she was alive. When she was alive wow that is a strange thing to say. That knot that has been in the pit of my stomach for the last day is not going away any time soon. Oh Father you have to go in front of me because I can not bear to take the steps first. I am all out of brave. I am all out of brave. I feel so weak. Holy Spirit do this for me please because all I can do is cry. Father protect my babies from my weakness and use this somehow to make us all stronger.
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I know there are things that I did not see, but you handles yourself wonderfully. I still have not experienced the loss of a parent, but hope I do half as well as you did.
ReplyDeleteI know it's still not over and the pain may never completely be gone, but know that friends and family are here for you.
Thanks Brett. I feel so defeated sometimes and sometimes so filled. Just knowing I can call when I need to helps even if I don't call because I feel stupid. It was not over in a few weeks. It is not over now two and a half months later. I am sad all the time and have just started to stop pushing my feelings aside so that I could help everyone else. (it was killing me inside) You are a great friend. Maybe when you r well we should have coffee again. My treat this time.
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