When Pigs Fly

This last week a church that I love has been holding their VBS.  I always help because a family member is involved and she asks me to.  This year part of the theme was something about pigs flying and so one of the leaders told the kids that if they brought in $600.00 he would kiss a real pig.  One of my best friends was then given the task of getting a baby pig to be kissed.  So like an amazing friend that I am I offered to go with her to get this pig.  We were to go to a man's house when he was not home.  Go to the pig barn and find the small red sow that had seven little white piglets.  She was a gentle sow so there was no worries.  Let me tell you when someone says that the sow is small they mean that it is only as big as a love seat not as big as an entire couch.  I guess that I have never been up close and personal with a full grown pig.  They are big and I did not like the idea of taking a baby away from something that could kill me by sitting on me.  Also the babies that were only like 4 weeks old were larger than my mother in law's fat jack rustle.  The little pig was somewhat cute and after it was all cleaned up I even was happy to look at it.  I will not be doing that again any time soon.  Other that that and the baby that I was taking care of who cried for at least an hour and half each of the 5 nights VBS was a hit.  My littlest girl had the best time and got her name called for winning the best toy.... What a great week.

What To Do About My FAT BUTT

It is official I am tooooo fat.  I took my 5 children one of which is my husband to a semi local amusement park last week.  When I went 11 years ago I went with just 2 children (also including my husband).  In those 11 years most of the things in my life have grown.  I knew that also included my rear end I just didn't realize how much.  When I got on my favorite ride I almost didn't fit.  Oh no I was one of the really fat people.  Really how did this happen and I not see how bad it had gotten.  So what should I do about it.  I have to do something.

I am at a loss.  It is like starting to clean a house that is beyond dirty.  I am embarrassed, sad, and disgusted with how I have let my body go.  I have lost three children, had four children, and one hysterectomy.  The fat has piled on all along but it was not until after the hysterectomy that it has gotten out of control.  I have been told that life and your body is not normal for a year after a surgery like that but I am ready now.

This is what I have decided.  I am going to get under control.  I have been very lenient with everything in my life starting when  the last pregnancy was so hard on me.  It is over.  I am going to write out my struggles, accomplishments, desires and goals right here.  I will not be able to get under control without expressing how I feel.  I am hoping it will help.  I have always let the things that I need and want take back burner to what my kids (including my husband) need and want.  This is for me.  This blog is what I am starting with.  I listen endlessly to what everyone else feels, likes, wants and dreams.  I do not have a me to tell my feels, likes, wants, and dreams to until now.  I do not know if anyone will ever find me and read this but at least I am getting it out there.

So here is my first goal for my physical body... Push away from the table.  I have found a relationship with good food.  I will continue this but with less bites.  I do not have to let my love for food make me fatter. I am going to drink less soda and more water.  I love water so I am not sure why I don't drink it more.

My first goal for the rest of me is to give myself the right to write.  This takes time and I am struggling with not doing dishes or something right now.  I have to give me a higher number on the priority list.  I will not be selfish or self centered. That is not who I am and would cause more stress.  I love my family but if I do not keep my body and mind healthy how am I going to take care of them for the long term.

I will close this post excited for the future. Hard work has never scared me so I am ready to dig in and get this going.  What will the road of life bring to me today?  I don't know but I am ready to take it all in and love living.